I Hate Brangelina

I can’t believe that I’m writing about this again. I kid you not, there’s just not enough out there to write about, but I’ll try.

While rumors were put to rest about brangelina getting married this last week, apparently some refuse to let this one go. - Like brad’s family. I feel for these poor
people! I can relate to mommy Jane Pitt, feeling like her whole world was torn apart because of her son (brad’s) love life. And no- I don’t jubilate over her anguish (there are so many points of hurt here). The fact of the matter is that she’s still hoping that there can be SOME SEMBLANCE OF NORMALACY) - at least for her grandchildren. (I found
this on the OK! magazine website. And yes, I thought that this article was really not the best of choices for gossip, but it IS news, and hence, the reporting of it).

Some semblance of normalacy. That’s quite a mouthful, isn’t it? But one might as well hope to sprout little feet wings and fly to the moon. Normalacy is not what feeds brangelina’s love life or lifestyle, for that matter. No- it isn’t going to happen. Now - this is NOT to say that they’ll never get married. I’m not saying that. BUT NORMALACY WILL NEVER BE A PART OF brangelina’s, NOR THEIR CHILDREN’S LIVES!.

From the very beginning, it was a scandal when brad left Jennifer. But the reason that it was a scandal (and some have likened it to the Taylor, Burton, Fisher, Reynold’s scandal -me) , is the simple fact that the one who came between them was angelina jolie . she was the reason for the divide between pitt and aniston. One COULD liken her to the secret ingredient for a train wreak waiting to happen, Anyone else , and it wouldn’t have been as big as it was. Why? - because jolie made it a point not to be NORMAL. she was SUCH a maverick; a dark, earth goddess who painted herself with tattoos , and sporting blood vials hanging from her neck. But if there was a gene that was omitted from jolie’s DNA , then that gene would be called NORMALACY. And as such - there can be none for brangelina, the kids, nor pitt’s family. It’s a rough one.

This column is not a rewrite of another column, but I thought that I would wing it today. So I’ll call this my first essay.

I had taken some photos from the website Just Jared and I had this feeling of being a peeping Thomasina. Whomever was the photographer who took the shots, let’s just say
that he wasn’t across the street from Brangelina and their tribe. No the photographer was more likely up high (a tree top) , or on a plateau in the French countryside. For Brangelina and the hockey team were in a VERY ritzy chateau , on a balcony that looks
like Napoleon had once hanged out there. I’m not kidding you, this looked real RICH. Okay, so there they were, hugging , kissing, posing- yikes, I mean having a relaxful time; and as I looked, I had a weird idea come to me. How much time, does Brangelina really have together? No- I’m NOT talking about taking the ‘Big Ride’-(death), nor anything
sinister. But from the time Pitt and Jolie have hitched up to each other to the present, how many more years will they remain’ in love’?

When they first met while making the movie ” Mr. & Mrs. Smith“, they became more than friends (with no touching! - eyeball rolls galore!). They became a real hot item. Of course , they started making Shiloh even before pitt and Aniston’s divorce was even close
to being final. Then, they became way too public with their love geez! From the time they stopped fibbing to anyone who would listen to them to the present , is a little over a three year span. Now keep in mind that for every time you get married and have a
divorce , your chances of being happily married to later partners becomes slim. I think that it’s a fifty percent drop after your first divorce. The second marriage has fifty percent and less of making it. It becomes ANOTHER fifty percent with a third marriage and so on, (I got this information from an Oprah Show way back in 2001 or 02). In other words, it’s hard enough with your first marriage to make it, but with all the others, it’s next to zilch that it’ll make it. Now this isn’t written in stone. I believe that with a lot of understanding, and with a LOT of Divine help, it could work (oops! That leaves out
Brangelina remember, they don’t believe in God!).

Another thing that I remembered about this information that I got from the show, is that everyone starts out with one hundred percent for a happy marriage. And if you use the 50 percent argument, then pitt brings to the the union at least 50 percent. He already has one divorce (with you- know- who!). And he’s definitely the stronger candidate for a happy marriage. But jolie- oy! - she brings NOTHING to the marriage table- so to speak. And just living in a partnership doesn’t look good either. Angelina is totally below
ground level in percentages condusive for a happy marriage.

And the children argument totally fails any person(s) who’ve had multiple unions.
In a first(or good) marriage, children strengthen the union. In the second, it evens out,
but anything more than two, is very, very not good!. It will cause tensions, hardships that will cause much suffering. Children will get hurt, and well, you’ve heard how bad it can be.

It’s true that I am not a therapist or pyschologist. But in my life, when looking at other
couples who’ve had marriage after marriage. This percentage theory tends to be dead-on.

The point that I am trying to make is that unless Brangelina starts some fast bible studies, start drinking holy water and have intense therapy, their time is ticking away. As long as they’re NOT married, it only postpones it for a little while, but not indefinitely. Tick, tick, tick……

It was all over the internet this weekend, the
“Wedding of the Century”. The news of a brangelina nuptial ran rife throughout the celebrity websites and it was the talk of the town. Too bad that it wasn’t true. These two have stated that they will NOT get married
until everyone who wants to marry in this country ,CAN. Where’s my drop down vomit bag?! Honestly, are they kiding me here?! Oh yeah, they’re trying to instruct all us ignorant
people out here that we should just stop thinking, feeling and follow what the
messianic brangelina want us to do. jolie and pitt , those two pillars of moral
exactitude- giving out nougats ( nuggets), of wisdom and spiritual enlightenment.
I better stop listening to them , it’s like I’ve taken one of those new medications
that the commercials are always touting ( STOP TAKING if your tongue swells
or your throat closes!). That happens to me when I start hearing or reading
ANYTHING brangelina has to say! It’s just too much to take.

But do you want to know what this whole weekend is about? First of all,
it’s a VERY SLOW news weekend ( and how!). But more importantly, even
the news outlets and celebrity titans, are trying to make sense of these two.
Not only that, but to PLEASE do the right thing and get married.-for your
children’s sake. REMEMBER YOUR CHILDREN?!

Anyway- I can’t say too much else about this non-news event, but it
saddens me that it made the headlines. HEY brange- have you thought
anymore about that move to FRANCE??!